So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
