hell yes lets make some ravioli
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
