He kissed a someone with a penis
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
