Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
zippers are such a cool invention
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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