the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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