she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
