it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
