careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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