My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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