I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
