Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
