It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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