why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
