Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize