Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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