This girl is more easily done than said...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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