Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
