like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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