her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
