hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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