garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
