dude i'm inner monologue high
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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