y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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