No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
