am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
