So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Of course I have a pirate flag
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
