Taylor Swift is so right about you.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Oh god it's open bar.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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