Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
