I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize