Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
