Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize