it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
