I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You smell like stripper and shame
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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