I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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