I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
