so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
