She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
