Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize