ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
