god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
