if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
