Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
