She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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