Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
