I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize