yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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