Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize