Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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