That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
