how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
