so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
