I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
