People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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