All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
