It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
