theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
