Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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