Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
