you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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