Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
