On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
