Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
