Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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