why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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